My Blog

Tag: anxiety

  • Why Is Doom Scrolling So Appealing?

    By Kevin Mitchell, PhD, MSW, RSW

    You’ve probably experienced it.

    You pick up your phone to check one notification.

    Twenty minutes later you’re still scrolling through bad news, political arguments, disasters, or social media debates — even though none of it is making you feel better.

    If doom scrolling often leaves us more anxious, exhausted, or discouraged, why is it so difficult to stop?

    The answer has less to do with a lack of self-control than many people realize.

    Your Brain Wants Certainty

    We are naturally drawn to information.

    When something feels uncertain, whether it’s a global crisis, your health, your relationships, or your future, your brain begins searching for answers.

    That instinct is adaptive.

    Staying informed has obvious advantages.

    The problem begins when gathering information quietly shifts into searching for certainty.

    Instead of helping us understand the world, scrolling becomes an attempt to eliminate the discomfort of not knowing.

    Ironically, it usually has the opposite effect.

    The Trap of “Just One More Post”

    Every new article or video carries the promise that it might finally explain everything.

    Maybe this one will make sense of the situation.

    Maybe this one will make you feel prepared.

    Maybe this one will help you stop worrying.

    Most of the time, it doesn’t.

    Instead, each new piece of information creates new questions, new uncertainties, and new reasons to keep scrolling.

    Without realizing it, you’ve entered a loop.

    Doom Scrolling Is About Emotion, Not Information

    People sometimes assume they’re scrolling because they want to keep up with the latest news.

    In therapy, a different question can be more useful:

    What feeling am I trying not to have right now?

    Sometimes doom scrolling helps us avoid:

    • loneliness
    • boredom
    • uncertainty
    • sadness
    • fear
    • difficult conversations
    • our own thoughts

    The phone becomes less about curiosity and more about distraction.

    Not because we’re weak, but because uncomfortable emotions are difficult to sit with.

    Why It Feels So Hard to Stop

    The difficulty isn’t simply the phone itself.

    It’s that stopping means returning to whatever was there before you picked it up.

    The uncertainty.

    The unfinished work.

    The difficult emotion.

    The quiet.

    If scrolling has become your way of managing those experiences, putting the phone down can briefly make them feel even stronger.

    That doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong choice.

    It often means you’ve interrupted a habit that has been helping you avoid discomfort.

    Building a Different Relationship With Uncertainty

    Breaking the cycle isn’t about never reading the news again.

    It’s about noticing when information stops serving understanding and starts serving reassurance.

    Instead of asking:

    “How can I stop feeling anxious?”

    it can be more helpful to ask:

    “Can I make room for this uncertainty without immediately trying to eliminate it?”

    That small shift creates space for choice.

    You may still decide to read the article.

    But you’re no longer being pulled automatically into another hour of scrolling.

    Therapy Can Help Break the Cycle

    Some habits survive because they solve an immediate problem, even if they create a larger one over time.

    Doom scrolling provides temporary relief from uncertainty while quietly reinforcing the belief that uncertainty is something that cannot be tolerated.

    Therapy helps develop a different capacity.

    Not the ability to control every thought or emotion.

    But the ability to stay present with uncertainty without automatically escaping into another distraction.

    Over time, that flexibility makes it easier to put the phone down: not because you’ve forced yourself to, but because you no longer need it in the same way.

    If anxiety, overthinking, compulsive habits, or constant worry are making it difficult to stay present in your daily life, therapy can help. I provide online therapy for adults and teens across Ontario and Manitoba using evidence-informed approaches that help people build greater emotional flexibility and develop healthier ways of responding to life’s uncertainties.

  • Why Feeling Comfortable Isn’t the Goal of Therapy

    By Kevin Mitchell, PhD, MSW, RSW

    If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling into the same patterns— even when you know they aren’t helping — you aren’t alone.

    Many people come to therapy wanting relief from anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma, or overwhelming emotions. Relief is an important goal, but lasting change usually involves something deeper than simply feeling better as quickly as possible.

    Paradoxically, growth often begins when we learn to experience difficult emotions differently rather than eliminate them altogether.

    Our Minds Learn to Avoid Uncertainty

    Human beings naturally seek predictability. When life has been painful, uncertain, or overwhelming, our brains become remarkably good at developing strategies that make difficult feelings disappear—at least temporarily.

    Sometimes those strategies are obvious, such as alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviours.

    Other times they are much quieter:

    These strategies usually develop for understandable reasons. They helped us cope at one point in our lives.

    The difficulty is that what once protected us can gradually become what keeps us stuck.

    Therapy Isn’t About Getting Rid of Emotions

    One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that the goal is to eliminate anxiety, sadness, grief, or fear.

    In reality, these emotions are part of being human.

    The goal is something different: expanding your ability to experience emotions without becoming trapped by them.

    As that capacity grows, people often notice they become:

    • Less reactive
    • More flexible
    • Better able to tolerate uncertainty
    • More confident making decisions
    • More connected to their values instead of their fears

    Psychologists sometimes call this psychological flexibility—the ability to adapt to life’s challenges without being controlled by automatic habits.

    How does change happen? – Real Change Happens Within a Safe Relationship

    Therapy should feel safe—but perhaps not in the way many people imagine.

    A good therapist isn’t there to rescue you from every uncomfortable feeling.

    Nor should therapy become an endless series of emotionally overwhelming conversations.

    Instead, therapy creates a relationship where difficult experiences can be explored without facing them alone.

    That balance matters.

    If therapy feels completely predictable and reassuring all the time, old patterns often remain untouched.

    If it feels overwhelming, learning becomes difficult.

    Meaningful change usually happens somewhere in between.

    You are supported enough to stay engaged while gradually discovering that you can handle more than your mind previously believed.

    You Don’t Need to Erase Your Past

    Many people arrive in therapy believing they need to “get over” what happened to them.

    But healing rarely means pretending the past never existed.

    Instead, therapy often involves changing your relationship with your experiences.

    The events themselves cannot be undone.

    Although the past cannot be changed, your relationship to it can. Its meaning can shift, its hold on the present can lessen, and it can take on a different place in the story of who you are becoming.

    Your relationship with past events can be changed in terms of:

    • what they mean,
    • how much power they hold,
    • and the role they play in the person you continue becoming.

    Rather than seeing painful experiences as evidence that something is permanently wrong with you, they can gradually become part of a broader story, one that includes resilience, growth, and new possibilities.

    Small Changes Create New Possibilities

    Transformation is rarely dramatic.

    More often, it happens through hundreds of small moments:

    • Sitting with anxiety instead of immediately escaping it.
    • Speaking honestly when you would normally stay silent.
    • Setting a boundary despite feeling guilty.
    • Allowing uncertainty instead of chasing certainty.
    • Taking one meaningful step toward the life you want.

    Each of these moments strengthens a different way of relating to yourself and to the world.

    Over time, new habits become possible because new ways of experiencing yourself become possible.

    Therapy as a Space for Becoming

    I view therapy as more than symptom reduction.

    It’s a collaborative space where new ways of thinking, feeling, and relating can gradually emerge.

    Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, addiction, ADHD, or a major life transition, therapy can help loosen patterns that once felt fixed and open space for something genuinely new.

    Change isn’t about becoming someone else.

    It’s about discovering that you are capable of becoming more than your current habits have allowed you to believe.

    Looking for Online Therapy in Ontario?

    I provide evidence-informed, trauma-informed online therapy for adults and teens across Ontario. My approach integrates Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), narrative therapy, motivational interviewing, and relational approaches to help clients develop greater emotional flexibility and build meaningful, lasting change.

    If you’re interested in learning more or booking a consultation, I’d be happy to hear from you. kevinmitchelltherapy@gmail.com